


Pranks for Nothing

by Healy



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: 5 Times, Comedy, Family, Gen, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-22 16:18:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12485720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Healy/pseuds/Healy
Summary: “Do you think maybe Stan is going too far with his pranks?” asked Mabel.“Eh.” Dipper shrugged. “I wouldn’t worry about it, unless it becomes a thing.”In which Stan goes too far, and it becomes a thing.





	Pranks for Nothing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



It was an average early summer morning in Gravity Falls: the sun was shining, the air was fresh and sweet, and the Mystery Twins were settling into a long day of lazing around the Shack. Mabel hung off the side of her bed, reading an issue of “Boy Crazy!” magazine, while Dipper frantically paced their bedroom, looking this way and that. “Mabel, have you seen my watch?” he finally asked.

“Nah,” answered Mabel. “Have you tried looking in the drawer?”

Dipper scratched the back of his neck. “Well, it’s worth a shot.” He pulled open the drawer, only to be greeted by the sight of a horrifying monster, its fangs bloody and sharp. He screamed in terror. “Aaaugh! Ugh, _Mabel!_ ”

Mabel sat up. “What is it, bro? Did you get overwhelmed by your own stink?”

Dipper roughly yanked the drawer out of the dresser. “Don’t play innocent with me! I know you put this here!” He took out the photo of the scary monster from the drawer and angrily waved it in front of Mabel.

“Don’t blame me!” said Mabel. She snatched the picture from Dipper and took a closer look at it. “I wouldn’t go anywhere near your smelly—oh. _Oh._ ”

“What?”

“Look at the back.”

Dipper took back the photo. “ _AHAHAHAHA GOTCHA!_ ” read the back. “ _SERVES YOU RIGHT, FOR LEAVING YOUR NERD JUNK ALL OVER THE SHACK. LOVE, STAN. P.S. DO SOME LAUNDRY. YOUR CLOTHES STINK!!_ ”

“Man, I wish people would stop pointing that out,” said Dipper. “Even if it _is_ true.”

“Do you think maybe Stan is going too far with his pranks?” asked Mabel.

“Eh.” Dipper shrugged. “I wouldn’t worry about it, unless it becomes a thing.”

* * *

One day not long after, Mabel was having a tea party with her dolls in her bedroom. “Oh, Mrs. Cloudie, your rainbow looks lovely positively stunning today! Did you do something special with it?” She poured some tea into a stuffed horse’s cup. “More crumpets, Lady Fluffington?”

“She can’t eat them, she’s a stuffed animal!” said Dipper, who barely looked up from his book.

“Quiet, you!” hushed Mabel. “Hmm. I think we’re running low on cream. Be back in a bit!” She scooted out of her chair and opened the door… and was hit by a torrent of water from a bucket perched above the doorframe. It soaked her clean to the bone. “Bleh!”

Dipper shut his book. “Wasn’t me,” he said. “You know I can’t reach that high.”

“Ugh,” Mabel groaned, wringing out her hair. “I bet it was Stan again.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because he signed the bucket ‘From Grunkle Stan’,” answered Mabel.

“Oh. Well, uh…” Dipper scratched his head. “As long as he doesn’t make a habit out of it.”

“As long as he doesn’t make a habit out of it,” Mabel repeated grimly, before whisking herself to the bathroom to dry off.

* * *

After that, Stan’s pranks around the Shack grew more and more frequent. Not a day went by without an electric handbuzzer handshake, or a can of snakes, or a whoopee cushion laid on a chair for the unwary to sit on.

“Ugh, that’s another one of my notebooks Stan’s ruined,” Dipper grumbled, as he and Mabel stomped upstairs to their room. “I don’t know why he’s so fond of exploding pens.”

“Hey, I don’t know about you, bro,” Mabel replied, “but I am _loving_ this ham, turkey, and vanilla pudding sandwich.” She took a big bite out of it. “Mmm! Still kinda wish that was really mayo, though.”

“Well, whatever,” said Dipper. “I suppose I should be glad I didn’t spray ink all over the Journal. Let’s just take a nap and put all these dumb pranks behind us.” The twins reached the attic. Dipper opened the door to their room to find that it had been completely filled up with balloons while they were gone.

“Huh,” he said, mildly surprised. “That’s a lot more effort than Stan usually puts in these pranks.”

“Actually, he got me to do it, dudes!” called a familiar voice from inside. “Made me blow up all these balloons and everything.”

“Soos? Are you okay?” asked Mabel.

“Eh, don’t worry about me, dudes,” said Soos. “I’m doing just fine! Although I am kinda lightheaded from blowing up balloons. In fact, I think I might be kind of suffocating? Just a little, though.”

“Hang on,” said Mabel. She took a pin out of her hair and started popping balloons with it. “This may take a while. You did a good job with these balloons, Soos!”

“Haha, thanks!”

“Soooo…” Dipper rubbed his arm. “Guess I’m not taking that nap after all. _Great_.”

“You can sleep on the couch downstairs!” Mabel offered.

“ _Fine_ , fine,” Dipper grumbled, and he trudged down the steps to the living room.

* * *

Late that afternoon, Dipper was awoken by Stan calling for him. “Dipper! Mabel! It’s time for supper!”

Dipper rubbed his eyes and stretched. “Oh man, that could _not_ have been good for my back.”

“C’mon, kids!” Stan yelled. “You don’t want a cold meal, do you?”

“Coming!” Dipper called out. He sleepily trudged into the kitchen. The table already had forks and plates set out, which was a first for Stan, and a covered platter lay at the center. Dipper sat down and drummed his fingers on the table. “So, what are we having?” he asked.

“It’s a surprise,” answered Stan.

Mabel bounded into the kitchen, nearly knocking over a pot on the counter. “Mmm! Can’t wait to dig in!” She leaned across the table and lifted the dome off the platter. But there was nothing underneath. “Uhh…” She looked over at Stan, who suddenly broke out into a fit of wild laughter.

“Psyche!” he screamed. “I didn’t make nothing!”

Both Dipper and Mabel shot him a piercing glare. “Seriously?” said Dipper. “That’s not a prank, that’s just being lazy.”

“Yeah, you kids are on your own for dinner,” Stan said. “Go make yourself sandwiches or whatever. I got a date with the late night movie!” With that, he walked out to the living room.

“Don’t worry, Dipper.” Mabel pat her brother on the shoulder. “The ham-and-turkey-and-pudding sandwiches are on me!”

“Ugh, I can’t believe this. Now he’s just using his pranks as an excuse to do less work. We have to put a stop to this!”

“But how?” asked Mabel, as she dipped her knife into what used to be the mayo jar. “It’s not like we can tell our parents. They’ll just tell us he’s going senile, like all the other times we complain about him!”

“Hmmm.” Dipper watched the vanilla pudding drip from Mabel’s knife. “I think I might have an idea.”

* * *

The next day, Stan was sitting on the porch, taking a break between tours, when he saw Dipper rush towards the Shack with a box of donuts. “Mabel!” cried Dipper. “Oh, Mabel!”

“Hey,” said Stan, “where’d you get those?”

“Soos heard you didn’t actually make us any dinner last night, so out of the goodness of his heart he drove to the donut shop and got us a box of jelly donuts to eat,” answered Dipper. “I already ate my fill of delicious jelly donuts, so now I’m looking for my dear sister Mabel, so she, too, may feast on jelly donuts.”

“Okay, two questions,” said Stan. “One, why are you talking like that. Two, can I have one?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper replied. “These jelly donuts, filled with real, delicious jelly, were meant for my sister and me. But I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if you took just one jelly donut.”

“Haha, score!” Stan opened the box and rifled through it.

“ _One_ donut, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper emphasized.

“Yeah, yeah yeah.” Stan picked out a donut, took a big bite, and immediately spat it back out. “Bleh! _Ugh!_ Oh man, that tastes nasty!”

“Hah!” Dipper triumphantly slammed the box shut. “See how you like the taste of your own medicine, old man!”

“Yeah!” yelled Mabel, who was hiding behind the couch. “See how you like _them_ donuts!”

Stan gagged. “Eww, what did you even put in these things!”

“Dentamint™ Sparkling Bubblegum-and-Mint toothpaste,” answered Dipper. “Me and Soos spent almost a whole hour setting this up.”

“It’s your own fault for pranking us so much, Grunkle Stan!” said Mabel.

“From now on don’t ever prank us again!” Dipper added. “Especially if it’s just an excuse to get out of feeding us.”

For a minute or two, Stan refused to answer the twins, just standing and scowling. “Fine,” he said at last. “If it bothers you kids that much, I won’t do it anymore. Sheesh! I don’t remember being like this with ou—with my old man.” He stomped into the Shack, leaving Dipper and Mabel alone outside.

“Well!” Dipper set the box on the couch. “I’m glad that’s settled.”

“Wait, hold on,” said Mabel. “Did you just say those donuts were filled with sparkly toothpaste?” She reached for a donut and took a big bite. “Mmm! This tastes delicious!”

“Mabel, eww!”

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Lady Ganesh for the beta, and those WikiHow and Buzzfeed articles I looked at for the prank ideas.


End file.
